#High functioning autism meltdown full#

What we can do is let them know that theyвЂ™re safe and loved. Many times, we try to talk them down from their panic, but itвЂ™s often a waste of breath when a child is in the throes of a meltdown. In these situations, all we need to do is simply sit with or be near them. Sometimes our children are so lost in their emotions that they canвЂ™t hear us. When we empathize with our kids and validate their experience, they feel heard.Д®veryone wants to feel heard, especially a person who frequently feels misunderstood and a little out of step with others. Our job is to gently guide our kids and give them the tools to express themselves in a way that doesnвЂ™t hurt their body or others. Be empatheticД®mpathy means listening and acknowledging their struggle without judgment.Д®xpressing emotions in a healthy way - whether through tears, wailing, playing, or journaling - is good for all people, even if these emotions feel overwhelming in their magnitude. So how can we effectively support our children through these often loud and thrashing meltdowns? 1. ThatвЂ™s something we have to come to terms with as parents so we can support them in the best way.

Their brains are wired differently and so itвЂ™s how they interact with the world. TheyвЂ™re crying because itвЂ™s what their bodies need to do in that moment to release tension and emotion from feeling overwhelmed with emotions or sensory stimulations. Many times, weвЂ™re coping with the fifth or sixth meltdown that morning over seemingly simple things like the tag in their shirt being too itchy, their sister talking too loudly, or a change in plans.ДЄutistic children arenвЂ™t crying, wailing, or flailing to get at us somehow. Or weвЂ™re running low on patience and just want peace and quiet. When our child has a meltdown, parents often want to stop the tears because it hurts our hearts that our kids are struggling. What to do during a very loud, very public meltdown We want them to вЂњfit inвЂќ because we know what rejection feels like.ДЄnd sometimes weвЂ™re just too damn tired to be patient and empathetic.Д«ut force isnвЂ™t the way to achieve joy, confidence - or calm.

#High functioning autism meltdown full#

We want them to be brave and full of confidence. We know our kids would enjoy whatever activity if they would just try it.

That said, I understand where the Elmo mom was coming from. When we let our children get comfortable at their own pace and they finally take that step of their own volition, true confidence and security grows. All of this pushing falls on a spectrum ranging from encouraging a hesitant child (this is great and should have no strings attached to the outcome - Let them say no!) to physically forcing them into a scenario that has their brain screaming danger. Of course, pushing independence isnвЂ™t always as extreme as the Elmo scenario or a room full of spiders. I also assume IвЂ™d store those traumas and theyвЂ™d invariably be triggered later in my life. That doesnвЂ™t mean I had some kind of breakthrough or success in facing my fears. If I was forced into a room full of spiders, I would probably be able to detach from my brain at some point to cope after about 40 hours of screaming. When we force a child to face their fears, and I mean screaming-on-the-floor petrified, like Whitney Ellenby, the mother who wanted her autistic son to see Elmo, we arenвЂ™t actually helping them. When we push a child, especially one prone to anxiety and rigidity, their natural instinct is to dig their heels in and hold on tighter. IвЂ™ve learned from experience that trying to force independence is counterintuitive, whether or not your child is autistic. ThereвЂ™s a difference between forcing behaviors and encouraging independence We declined her services and found a better fit for our family - for our son. You could never fit their beauty and quirkiness into a box. In reality, each and every autistic child is so unique and different from what society deems typical. I felt like she wanted to stuff his behaviors into a box, then sit on top of it. I could see the judgment in her expression when she began a monologue about how I needed to force my son to go to school, force him into situations that make him extremely uncomfortable, and force him to socialize regardless of how he feels about it. My partner and I told her about our choice of home-schooling and how weвЂ™ve never used punishment as a form of discipline.ДЄs the meeting continued, her brows became hawklike. This was our first meeting to see if we would be a good fit to work together toward an evaluation and formal diagnosis, so my son wasnвЂ™t present. I sat in the child psychologistвЂ™s office telling her about my six-year-old autistic son. Health and wellness touch each of us differently.